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The words as they appear on page three of Intensity by Dean Koontz:
  The red sun balances on the highest ramparts of the mountains, and in its waning light, the foothills appear to be ablaze. A cool breeze blows down out of the sun and fans through the tall dry grass, which streams like waves of golden fire along the slopes toward the rich and shadowed valley.
  In the knee-high grass, he stands with his hands in the pockets of his denim jacket, studying the vineyards below.
  As it slowly sinks behind the mountains, the sun sprays light so warmly colored and so mordant that, where touched, the darkening land appears to be wet with it and dyed forever.

Writing the words:
  The red sun balances on the highest ramparts of the mountains, and in its waning light, the foothills appear to be ablaze. A cool breeze blows down out of the sun and fans through the tall dry grass, which streams like waves of golden fire along the slopes toward the rich and shadowed valley. In the knee-high grass, he stands with his hands in the pockets of his denim jacket, studying the vineyards below.
  As the sun slowly sinks behind the mountains, the sun sprays light so warmly colored and so mordant that, where touched, the darkening land appears to be wet with it and dyed forever.

Putting yourself as the character more deeply into the scene, asking questions about your description of what you’re seeing:
  Why is the sun red? Can the sun bring a cool breeze? That seems to be a contradiction. Who is “he”? Where is he looking from? If the sun has sunk behind the mountains, how is it still spraying light? Will all readers know what mordant means? No, it means burning, or corrosive.

Edit and rewrite the sentences, looking for ways they could be improved:
  The sun balances above the mountain peaks, setting the foothills ablaze. A cool breeze from the snowcaps fans the tall, dry grass in the valley, creating ocean-like waves with golden fire cresting on the shadows.
  Jack Simpleton leans against the railing on the bridge that spans the roaring rapids.
  As the sunlight fades, the colors glisten as if an artist had spread fresh paint on his canvas.

Using your own words, write how you would describe the scene:
  Jack Simpleton leaned against the bridge railing, above the roaring rapids, wishing the day didn’t have to end. The setting sun, just above the mountain peaks, gave the foothill their last breath of daylight. The breeze off the snowcaps cooled his face and warmed his heart. The tall, dry grass in the valley swayed like ocean waves, the golden crests highlighted above the deep shadows. As the sunlight began to fade, the colors brightened like fresh paint on an artist’s canvas. If only he could take the picture home.