In your first draft, write quickly, letting the fat hang out. But to look good, your manuscript needs some tightening up during the editing process.
Some information in your story may be nice, even newsworthy, but not necessary. To determine what to keep and what to cut, identify everything that isn’t essential. How do you do that? Define the Situation, reveal the Character, show the Objective, and magnify the Obstacle and Plight. Does each action, exchange of dialogue, and description, move the story forward so readers are desperate to know what will happen? If not, cut those areas and add details that build tension and conflict.
If two words or phrases have similar meaning, keep the strongest and drop the other. Unlike preaching, reiteration is seldom good. Try leaving out the –ly adverbs such as finally, quickly, actually, and suddenly (and a host of others), because they detract instead of adding force to what they modify. Use concrete nouns and specific descriptions to reduce the need for adjectives. Eliminate most qualifying words like long, small, very, seem, all and just.
Unless the method for getting from one place to another is crucial to the story, those steps should be left out.
Phrases beginning with of might transform to a possessive. A single adjective can sometimes eliminate the need for a modifying phrase.
While hundred-word literary sentences should be a thing of the past, many short sentences can be as irritating as a long drive down a brick-paved road. Two or three short sentences, combined into a central clause with modifying phrases, can make for a shorter, more enjoyable ride.
Jack slaved a whole hour. Finally, the new water pump was installed. The bolts were securely tightened. So were all the hose clamps. He then filled up the radiator with antifreeze. He let the engine run for ten minutes. There were not any leaks. (Seven sentences totaling forty-four words).
An hour later, the new water pump was in place, bolts and hose clamps tight, radiator filled with antifreeze. Jack let the engine run for ten minutes. No leaks. (Three sentences totaling twenty-nine words.)